I'll change... This time I'll change ???

 Alright.... So we've all had someone in our own life ( relationship) or had a friend who dealt with this in a relationship. They are in a repetitive  abusive relationship. (Emotional abuse, Verbal abuse, Mental Abuse) all these are as bad as Physical Abuse. These are all situations in which the person who is dominant in the relationship, Always uses their power over the person who NEEDS. When you believe you NEED someone, You want them so much that you believe ANYTHING they are telling you. It's always the same words. " I'll change, I'm sorry I really mean it..... I'll change" Then we fall and bend the rules, AGAIN. We drop our anger and we drop our decisions of walking away. We then are allowing the abuse to continue.  These abusers don't care about changing, they will not change unless we remove ourselves from the situation and allow them to see what they are doing.

Giving them the chance, to keep abusing is NOT LOVING THEM. It's only allowing them to keep hurting you, themselves and their life. If you are a Victim of Abuse. You HAVE TO WALK AWAY. Allow the person you LOVE to get the help that they deserve. If this is really love, If this man/woman really loves you, loves the relationship, loves their family. They are going to want the help, seek the help, get the help and walk a path of righteousness. They will find a way to make themselves better.

I know, a lot of people say that " once an abuser, always an abuser" that is NOT true. Alot of people who abuse their loved ones. have MANY emotional ISSUES that they have to deal with and have repressed angers. With therapy and counseling often this helps ... THEY CANNOT CHANGE without the help.

If you really love the person in your life who is abusing you, If your friend really loves their abusive partners. Tell them to walk away, walk out and allow them to get the help they seek.... If it's really ment to be it will happen all over again, once they are emotionally, mentally and psychologically healed

Do not hang around in the Abusive relationship waiting of the change to happen because it won't as long as u fall for the " I'll change speech" You are giving them another ticket to hurt, abuse you and hurt themselves more and more over and over again...............

If you are being physically abused........ call 911 and do not hesitate to walk away.............

*Love DOES NOT HURT*
 This is a song about Spousal Abuse *Love is Blind*
 

addicted to self induced pain?

Yesss! I'm coming back with a BANG. okay not a bang *L* but at least a hollerrrr..  I have experienced a few things these last few weeks. I have been dealing with certain people who i have really tried hard to help. Actually, lost money helping, lost time helping, lost alot of energy and at the end of these three weeks I'm looking around and I cannot see anything productive that has come out of it. It's almost like i spent my whole time speaking to myself.  I have been made fun of and called "Intelligent" with a smurk face more than once. Telling me, "Oh so your so intelligent.... why do you even care"  but... It's trying to get someone to understand that LIFE IS NOT ALWAYS FAIR but ITS ALWAYS going to have a PURPOSE regardless.

There's a time when you just have to let go trying to help someone who does not want to help themselves you cannot send yourself in a hole, even into depression for making someone else's life better. There is always going to be that someone who says "I'm never drinking again, because they feel sick then soon as they are better they got the bottle in their hand" There's always going to be the person who runs back into the abuser's arms after the fight is over. There will always be the people who are attracted to sadness, hardship. Now, from what i am feeing here always is that there are victims then there are those who LOVE TO BE playing the victim role., They can be the center of attention. get all the attention and then they go right back to the situation and all over again.

There is no way that we can help these people UNTIL they are completely, aware that they are addicted to self inflicted pain. Once they begin to understand what is really going on, they can begin accepting the help that you have to offer. until then it's going to be a battle with someone who does not listen

Loving YOURSELF

There are so many reasons to love yourself. The main one is that when you love yourself and respect yourself you don't have to worry about someone taking advantage of you,  because you will not stand for it nor tolerate it. I am serious, so many women tell me oh I love myself, I'm the shit.. uhhh? So why are you staying with a man who is abusing you? cheating on you? lying to you? They answer the same.. "Because I love him or Because I won't find no one else" Is that SELF LOVE? I seriously, doubt that very much.

Priorities need to get in order. If you LOVE yourself you don't allow someone to treat you wrong because you love them. Then there are those people who say they love themselves as they are, yet they say they want to lose weight but won't even TRY to do something for themselves, If you KNOW you want to lose weight, why buy that extra bag of chips or that extra burger? If you know your going to feel bad, sad and sick? People these days think, aaaah i love myself the way that i am, big or not well it's not really about THAT. If you REALLY loved yourself you would want to keep your body healthy from the inside out. Who cares if they make a dress that you can fit, does it mean that your heart and organs are healthy on the inside??? NO! So get yourself together and REALLY LOVE YOURSELF.  MOVE.MOVE. and eat healthy.. DO HAPPY. HEALTHY THINGS for yourself. LOOK IN THE MIRROR and SMILE then tell yourself your going to WALK. JOG. Do 1 sit up. DO SOMETHING for YOURSELF.

I myself, have been over-weight and I thought I loved myself, until i realized i was disrespecting my own BODY by not being good to it.. loading it up, with unhealthy things. I want to LIVE LONGER  you NEED to do the SAME

Love YOURSELF :)

Abusers and Abused.. men or women its NONO

How many times have we heard a friend, sister, brother...etc. Telling us that they got into an argument with their significant other and things got rough, either he slapped the crap out of her or she swung at him with a lamp. Do you really feel this is right? NO! Its completely wrong. NO one should ever raise their hands on someone they love. Dating abuse. Relationship Abuse. Marital Abuse all these things need to be stopped. It's not okay to remain in an abuse relationship. Now there's all kinds of Abuses but TODAY I am touching on the Physical aspect of things.

There is something in common that all abusers have, whether they are men or women. After the fact they are always sorry, they will never do it again. They are not sure what got into them. If someone is REALLY sorry, after the first time it happens, they will be signing up for counseling, therapy and anger management classes. If someone is NOT really sorry, They will just be OKAY until the next time they flip out and you get an ass-whipping again.

I want YOU (abused) To read this clearly. YOU are NOT to REMAIN a victim in a situation like this You are TO LEAVE. Go to a shelter for women (and there are some for men also) Call 911 do WHAT you have to do but leave that house before you end up, DEAD. It begins with slow fits of rage but escalates very quickly. It's NOT your fault. (unless you hit first then you are the ABUSER) but if you are not hitting and you get hit you are a VICTIM and you need to get help

I want YOU (The Abuser) To read this clearly. YOU are NOT to lay hands on a woman nor a man. You are going through repressed anger from the past. Perhaps even a past life. many factors key in here. It does not make you a bad person, but you really need some help. Call a psychologist, psychiatrist, doctor. Someoen who can help you understand your feelings and emotions and learn to control them. If you want to CHANGE there is a way....

The most important thing here. If you have CHILDREN PLEASE PLEASE leave right away, bring the kids. We do not need a world of children who have grown up to watch abusive behavior to keep the cycle going. Let's work today for a better more peaceful tomorrow.

Useless argument or Lesson in the making?

There's times in life where things happen that are completely out of our control. It's easy when we have a falling out with our best-friend or our significant other, parents. To blame them right off the bat. It's THEIR fault. I didn't do anything. okay, that's when you take a deep breath and you say. okay, I didn't do anything TODAY. Maybe the argument stems from something that has been done by you in the past. As friends and Lovers we often let things slide, but after enough is enough we tend to want to just OKAY. Your going to have to learn this the hard way and give someone a taste of their behavior.
It happens to the best of us, We always find it so much easier to blame someone else, than to actually consider that we're part of the problem, not the solution. What we have to learn is to become part of the solution. Work towards not pointing the finger so fast. Besides, we all learn from every situation in our lives. These are lessons to help us progress on our paths. If we don't learn, we don't progress.  Which means more than likely we're going to go through the same thing. over and over again until we learn the lesson which we are suppose to. So next time someone is angry with you, not speaking to you or just has words for you. Try not blaming them right away, try seeing what really happened to lead to this point.

I am not saying to be the subject of abuse because it's something you must of did. I'm talking about random little fights. not physical or psychologically abusive arguments/fights. I'm talking about those arguments you keep having over and over with the people in your life



The photo I am using to the left this morning is property of www.abstractdigitalartgallery.com/